#6. Home.

Breathe. I've been here a week and a half.

I've been searching for a sense of home for the past several days. Instead, this is what I've found: 

+Saturday: Stayed in bed til noon, felt like blech because of it; Waited in line at the gas station to fuel my car before the hurricane; Mentally justified via shaky means walking to Starbucks for coffee; Dissatisfied with the loud atmosphere there but stayed anyway; Had a conversation with a middle-aged Christian guy about being new here and church; Ran two miles (yay!); Decided to try the church he suggested

+Sunday: Got lost on the way to the church; Went to church; Remembered why I don't go to church services; Got lost on the way to a laundromat; Got lost on the way to Target; Left Target with 47 less things than I wanted; Felt brain-dead for the rest of the day but couldn't make myself go to sleep until 2:30am

+Monday: Woke to a phone call from the Mom saying that if I wanted to come in I should come as early as possible in order to avoid Sandy; Hurried and left without exercising my dog; Returned home around 1:30pm; Spent rest of evening stressing and preparing and watching live coverage of the storm; Slept (surprisingly well) in the bathroom of my apartment, piled with necessities, niceties, and dog

+Tue-day: Found out that linoleum is comfortable if an abundance of fleece, quilt, and pillow, and canine are on hand; Went outside to a cold but together world; Went to work, where everyone was testy, tired, and beginning to be bored (not to mention two clogged toilets and one very upset/guilty 11 yr old boy); Came home and followed normal routine. 

I've knitting a headband w/ flower and 1.5 squares of a quilt in the past 3 days. 

I miss Mi Casa (house church). I miss my 3 Spoons family. Did I mention I miss Mi Casa? I miss being an hour from hannaH and Leanne and Lacey. I miss being 2 hours from Lauren Brown and 3 hours from Laura Wise, not to mention the other various members of the LUL Family whose time-distances from me I don't remember. 

I'm just feeling a bit lonely right now I reckon. Out of my element, which is what I wanted and needed, I know. It's just hard to leave someone, someones, and some places where you know you were understood.

And if you're me, feeling understood and trusted and seen is a really, really big deal. I'm not like everyone else and I know it. I don't resent it, but it sure does make transition to a new place that much harder.

Anyway. You should listen to that.