#24. Conveniently, 24.

I turned 24 on Monday. It was probably the least flat-out celebrating I've done in ever. I was mostly recovering and driving and recovering and recovering.


This weekend was Wedding Weekend. Lindsey Gahan is now Lindsey Black and Andrew has a wife. They are individually lovely, fervently in love, and lovely together. They bring out the tenderness and courage in one another, or rather, they enhance it. 

Now I have some tenderness in my shoulders thanks to the knots that've formed from self-imposed stress. I don't think I took a full breath on Sunday until around 10pm, at which point I was asked what it was like to be having a drink with one of my campers. Calm down. He's now my former co-worker and primarily my close friend. 

There are spans of a couple hours that I don't even remember. Even on Saturday. We truly did hit the ground runnin'. 

Oh yes, we. Jim and I. He got put to work almost immediately. Fortunately he was a good sport about it, and his willingness to serve had the added effect of making a deep impression on everyone. Plus he's funny and clever and outgoing and quirky and smart and handsome and tall. Plus (or minus) he came attached to me. He fit in so well there, loved camp's scenery and people, and loved downtown Greenville as soon as he saw it. We decided that it was designed for relaxation and walked through Falls Park before heading an ugly amount of hours north.

He passed the Look Up test. Extravagantly. I was urged again and again to keep him. I reckon I will, if I'm lucky. 

It was brilliantly and poignantly satisfying to see each of my framily (and family) members. I love them more dearly than I can ever express. What a thing it is to know and be known. 

Leftover information:
Job interview Friday morning.
Non-specific plans to go hiking with Aviva (Ella's speech therapist) and her precious baby Maya and her friend Danica. 
Going to meet Jim's family and friends this weekend. 
I have rice, black beans, and green beans as my food supply at the moment. That's it.
I need to go grocery shopping. 
I want the Summer. Soon.
Jim now knows about this space of mind-expression. Poor guy.
I already miss y'all.

#23. Outdoor Adventures.

Maryland finally decided it was Spring, although for about a week it jumped to Summer.

That was fantastic.

But now it's back to Spring and kinda warm during the day and kinda cold during the night.
(I want the Summer back.)

This awesome weather has greatly lightened my mood and darkened my skin. My Chaco tan is already well on its way to being the best one I've yet had.

The weather has also allowed Jim and I to no longer avoid the outdoors. Wednesday I cooked for us at my apartment and then we went for a walk to see what was to be seen. It was definitely barefoot weather, for me at least. The cherry trees in my neighborhood are more lovely than those in D.C. actually. 

I spent a lot of time this week poking and prodding and hinting to the kids that we should go to the park and play. So far I'm the only one interested in this activity. That's not encouraging for when summer hits in earnest. 

Also why I need a different job. I'm thinking about looking into summer camp employment, since that'd be second nature to me. It just makes me really uneasy to realize that for the second time in my life I'd be giving up a fairly stable job for temporary employment with the uncertainty of employment at the end of the season. I'd have to be spending a large amount of my off-time looking for future jobs. 

Which is what I should be doing now. I really hate applications and resumés and emails and all things related to job searches.

Friday I didn't want to go to contra but I did anyway. God showed me I was just being pissy because I think too much and I haven't had a good cry in several months. I went and had a good time as usual. The joviality involved in that night's memory is helped by the fact that Jim kissed me as we parted ways. It was my first kiss.

Saturday I woke up when I felt like it, took Lily to the dog park for a couple hours, read The Chamber of Secrets for a while on a bench afterward with Lily leashed to the arm of it, went running on a course incredibly full of deceptively long hills, ate, was hopeful but disappointed about the possibility of seeing some Northern Lights, watched The Goblet of Fire and didn't cry like I wanted to, watched this and cried like a baby for a long time, and then went to sleep.

A good day I think.

Today, Sunday, I woke up when I wanted to, took Lily to the dog park for a little bit, then Jim and I went hiking on the Appalachian Trail. That's the Ap-puh-latch-un Trail. Jim insists that it's the Ap-puh-lay-shun Trail, but we all know that trail doesn't exist. Then we ate Chipotle which is always a good decision and came back to hang out at my apartment for a while. He and Lily are close friends now. She likes how strong he is and he likes how silly she is. 

Next weekend we'll be traveling to TR for Lindsey and Andrew's wedding and there are loads of emotions wrapped up in that trip for me. Y'all could imagine what they are. You know me.

I'm tired and sleepy. I'm sure I'll see some of you soon, so beautifully soon!

#22. Springing Spring.

This'll be short and sweet because my computer's battery (and mine, for that matter) is about to die.
It's been nearly a month since my last update. Sorry.

Jim and I are still going strong. Last week we talked thoroughly through our beliefs and we're on the same page, praise the Lord.

I really like him.

He's coming to Andrew and Lindsey's wedding with me in a couple of weeks, which is terrifying. That means spending 18 total hours of car time together, and he'll be meeting my mom and brother and my Look Up family all in one jam-packed weekend. 

Bless him.

Today I got a little sunburned. We went to the Cherry Blossom Festival in downtown D.C. and spent about 4.5 hours or so walking around in the glory of the warm sun and not-too-chilly breeze and looking at flowers and monuments and talking a lot. 

A week or two or something after the wedding weekend I'll be traveling to western Maryland with Jim to meet his parents. Gah! I don't think I'll be nervous until I see their house. Then the reality of it will set in and I might die right then.

I'm looking for a different job still, focusing on opportunities closer to my eventual career goal. At the very least I'd like something in the same vein anyway, even if I don't end up sticking with the same organization or what-have-you.

I love love love love not having to wear a jacket outside! Warmth! Hallelujah!

#21. Saints and Cereal.

In the spring and summer I always try to eat cereal for breakfast and it's never a good idea. My stomach really hates milk first thing in the morning. It's not intolerable but it's an uncomfortable amount of tightness.

It's sad because I really like cereal, particularly in the morning.

I avoid this problem in the chilly and cold months by eating oatmeal, but eating something hot first thing on a hot day isn't comfortable. But neither is paying $5 for 6 bagels.

During the course of my Wednesday evening conversation with Jim (contra guy) he said that he was a Christian. Hooray and Hallelujah! He's Catholic, so we've still got to talk about the course of salvation, the idea of saints, and the existence of purgatory, along with the general practice of faith issues before I can whole-heartedly celebrate the potential longevity of this relationship.

If he's not by-the-Catholic-book Catholic, he still has to pass the meet-my-Look-Up-family test. That might could happen in late April. Maybe.

Oh, and happy St. Patrick's day! I'm Irish! Woo! I ate corned beef and cabbage. I also had my first alcoholic beverage of 2013 (since the time changed last weekend I'm allowed to.) It was Woodchuck Hard Cider. So good, and so not seasonally appropriate. Oh well. I'll get some Bailey's after Easter, when I can have sweets again.

The kids were better this week. Well, Ella was. I played games (mostly Connect 4) with her all week. Max tries, and succeeds, to manipulate her pretty often and I can't figure out how to have Ella stand up for herself without causing a tantrum on Max's part. It's nearly useless to try teaching Max why it's bad to manipulate people. He doesn't care. He never speaks to her on her level. She's quite intelligent for her age. His tone is so condescending that it enrages me, no matter how oblivious Ella is to it.

I'm looking for another job. I decided that this week after coming in day after day to a destroyed kitchen and being asked to put new soap in the master bathroom's shower. I hate cleaning up after grown people. I hate being thought of as insignificant and unintelligent. I hate knowing that I am highly skilled with their children, that the kids enjoy playing with me, and that I'm still being paid the lowest wage in the range of salaries they were offering.

I need a job that uses all of my mind. Every time I spend a few hours with Jim I realize just how much of my higher functioning has been in a coma for the past couple of years. On Saturday we spent about 3 hours browsing around a bookstore. 3 hours. Just looking at and talking about books.

I think he'd pass the Look Up test just fine. He's really strange.

#20. New Things, Good and Bad.

It's Monday, not Sunday, and almost not-Monday-anymore.

Yesterday the time changed. Hallelujah. And the weather this weekend left nothing to be desired. Absolutely lovely. 

I've been out with the contra dance guy twice since my last post, aside from seeing/dancing with/talking to him on Fridays at contra.

He's kind and considerate and respectful and cautious and interesting and gentle and decisive and assertive and strong and adventurous and smarter than me. He's great and good and I like him. And he likes me.

This is a new thing, the good side of newness in my life. I've never had a good and decent man actually be interested enough in me to take action concerning his interest. I don't exactly know what I'm doing because I've never been in this place before, but I'm trying to listen to the Spirit (although He's been kinda quiet about it...)

Yesterday we+Lily hiked the Billy Goat trail which is about 4.5 miles round-trip. Let me tell you, it is aptly named and so fun. Then we ate some delicious Chipotle and saw Oz: The Great and Powerful. It was beautifully done and clever. We ended up getting free passes to see another movie later because they accidentally began showing the wrong film, causing our start time to be delayed about 30 minutes. Totally worth it.

I think my favorite things about him are 1) he really is smarter than I am and 2) he takes initiative, gently. The second is hard to explain unless you already know what I mean. I hope you know what I mean. 

The bad side of newness in my life is having to decide what the next step will be. I was not offered admission to George Washington either. Stupid work history. So now I have to decide:
Should I look for full-time employment right now?
Should I stay with this job even though I'd only be staying in order to keep my non-binding word to them of "until next fall"?
Should I apply to the MSOD program at American and hope to edge my way into the MBA?
Should I wait until next season to apply again, this time for Spring admission?

I really don't want to stay with the family for a lot longer. I hate the cleaning. I can deal with everything else honestly, but not the cleaning up after grown people. I have time before I have to decide everything and I have a few issues that are more pressing to consider first (Vehicle Emissions Test, getting taxes done, paying a long-overdue medical bill...) so I'm trying not to worry about it.

Happy almost Spring! Sunshine and warm hooray!

#19. The Rundown.

I have been neglecting this for some time now. 


I'm sorry. My only excuse is that I didn't want to write.


Here goes:

I've cheated 3 times on my Lent fast of sweets.

I'm still contra dancing most Friday nights. I just keep finding the money for it, literally finding $10 in a drawer or something. I think that magic has run out though.

I have contra dance friends now.

I have contra dance friends now because of a guy I danced with a few Fridays in a row, who then asked me to join him and his friends afterward at a diner.

A few days later I went out with him. We made plans for a second date either tomorrow or Tuesday. 

I'm extremely excited about the time change later this week.
And the season change later this month.
And the temperature change that will hopefully accompany it.

I had an emotional breakdown caused by frustration with my job and the lack of effective discipline and personal responsibility I see everyday. Then I was reminded that it's not my job to fix everything, only to do what I can and do it the best I can. 

I was also reminded that this is not for forever. 
And that's great and wonderful.

#18. Rapid Fire.

I'm almost able to breathe normally again. Almost.

I'm also more certain than ever that my life should be made into a sitcom, even though it might only survive on Bravo (SNL reference, anyone?). Here's a recap, in reverse order. Most recent events first.

Survivor comes back Wednesday.

Mardi Gras is tomorrow. Cooking cajun shrimp, cheese grits, and banana pudding. Watching The Princess and the Frog.

This past weekend was the second weekend in my new apartment.

This past weekend we got our first pieces of commons-area furniture. Kitchen table and chairs (Thanks Mom!) I really like having that table. It's the only kitchen table I've ever known.

(2/9) This past Saturday my family spent more time driving to Maryland than actually being in Maryland. And I babysat for 3 hours, for $20.

(2/7) Thursday I left work at 3:30 because I was weak from food poisoning. I slept from 4-7:30pm after having already slept a 10-hour night.

(2/6) Wednesday I made chai tea with past-due milk. Food poisoning and dehydration!

(2/5) Tuesday Ella missed school because she was feeling ill.

(2/4) Monday...sore as all get out from moving all weekend.

(2/3) Sunday: Clean old apartment almost single-handedly (Thanks LUL training!). Move more of roommate's stuff to new apartment. Turn over keys. Grocery shopping, cooking, Super Bowl party. Newest roommate and pastor's wife talk during almost entire game, including commercials.

(2/2) Saturday: Take Lily to vet for vaccine update. Meet with Leasing Office of new place. Run all over town 298347 times to track down paperwork and obscene amounts of cash money. Back to Leasing Office. Sign lease. Begin move-in. My stuff=1.25 carloads for EVERYTHING. Started moving about 7pm...stopped just before 1am.

(2/1) Friday: Panic mode about suddenness of move. Extreme disappointment/shock upon being denied acceptance in American University.

(1/31) Thursday: Tour potential new apartment.

(1/30) Wednesday: Decide to move, for certain.

(1/29 and preceding): Find out landlord isn't legal landlord. Talk to real landlord who is nice at first and business at second. Wants to keep rent same or increase even though former "landlord" was making $200/month off us.

If that's not sitcom or sitama material, what is?