#15. Today.

Today.

First day of the Australian Open (tennis, for those who don't follow.)

First day I've run 2 miles since November.

First day I realized I'm starting to feel good about myself again. 

It took me awhile. I knew I was eating out of my winter depression. I knew I wasn't being active enough and the cold shocked me into hibernation in a number of ways (literal sleep, spiritual sleep, mental sleep). Then my clothes got tight. Then I started getting disgusted with myself.

Then I woke up. I don't know if it was the frugality or the vanity in me not wanting to have to buy new clothes or the reality hitting me that I can't let something so external, so temporal as weather determine my lifestyle. 

I've realized how selfish and cowardly I've been. I've often made myself a victim in my own eyes.

So now I've set rules for activity and rewards. I'm keeping track of it. I'm going to make a point to do something frivolous about once a week. 

This week, I spent $10 to go contra dancing Friday night. Oh my word, it was a fantastic amount of fun and I'm pretty good at it! I even missed the lesson because I got lost driving there (of course). They gave me a pass to come in another time for free, so guess where I'll be next Friday night...which also functions to allow TWO frivolous things next week. I haven't decided what that will be yet. 

I finished an art project today but I need something to hang it on a tile wall with.

My Chaco tan is fading, and Ella's speech therapist always calls them Teva's which is annoying only because it's incorrect. I do own Teva's as well, but they are different and, for my feet, have different purposes. 

Today. I feel the culmination of the past few better days.

If anyone wants to join me in running/walking this, please let me know. Registration opens in a couple days and it'll be cheaper by $10 I think if we form a team.