#13. Dog Days.

My dog, Lily, is one of the doggiest dogs I've ever known.

{Mud? Loves to roll in it.
Cat Poo? Loves to eat it.
Tug-of-war? No one wins but her.
Tennis balls, rope toys, rawhides all have a very short lifespan in this household. 
She WILL take up the entire bed.
The adorable head-tilt has long been mastered.
In early morning and late evening her tail is her worst enemy.}

Except when it comes to rain. She abhors it. She cowers near my legs thinking that'll shield her from the death-drops. 

That's the end of that. You needed to know about my dog.

Tonight was the second time I went to LIFE group. Turns out it was David-Vivian-Stacy group. David is the pastor and Vivian, his wife. Fortunately, although they are expecting their third child, they are not a frustratingly couple-y couple. I like them a lot, separately and together. 

They are starting to know me and that's exciting. They don't get me just yet, but I know that takes time. I'm not a quantifiable entity. I'm not the norm. 

The Kids have been weirdly quiet this week, even more so than usual, so I've been spending a good bit of time finding random things to clean. Which means that the next day is also spent finding things to clean because I did most of today's work yesterday. The good news is that the Mom understands and let me leave half an hour early today. 

My transcript never reached American University so I've been moved to the next tier of consideration. That's a small but significant setback and I'm mad about it. I ordered my transcript more than a month ago. Liberty is going to send it again at no charge, but that's not the point. I will be considered at the top of this tier, but lower than the one I was aiming for. Hopefully this doesn't change the outcome of my application. 

I work tomorrow, then drive home and STAY for an entire week. The Family is going to St. Maarten. Yay! I am sad that I have to go back to work just in time for New Year's Eve and Day and will miss out on the festivities with the Look Up family for the first time since I started working there. I knew this day was coming but I didn't expect it just yet. 

#12. The Amazing Race.

The finale of season 21 of The Amazing Race was tonight. My favorite team won. Yay for justice and the good guys winning. Go live on your goat farm, guys.

I've always wanted to travel, to see the world and meet people from different cultures. What better way to do it for free and embrace my competitiveness at the same time. 

Who wants in?

I'm pretty serious about applying for the show if I don't get into an MBA program. Why not? It's not really upsetting my life at this point since it's all topsy-turvy anyhow. And I've been wanting an excuse to refresh my French and learn another random language like Dutch or something. 

I need a viable partner. I have my ideas, but we'll see how God really has written this life out for me. I may have to settle for living the life I actually want to live. Crazy.

You may want to sit down for this next part: I went to a church this morning. I absolutely loved it. The whole deal is only about 2 years old and very small, as in there were less-than-or-equal-to 20 people there (and that's everyone.) The music is real and kind of awful. The teaching is honest, well-thought-out, and concise. The people kind and welcoming. I just met them today and got 4 hugs on the way out the door after spending an hour after service talking with them. They have Thursday night LIFE group (Love In FEllowship) and they serve their community regularly. Lots of young families, if lots can describe such a small group. They meet in an elementary school only a mile away, totally walking distance for me.

Yay. I'm actually excited about this. 

Ella and I talked for about 20 minutes in the car on Friday (Thursday? I don't remember) about how her lifestyle is not the norm. I explained middle-class, in-the-country, small-town life to her. I introduced her to the idea of climbing trees and chasing chickens and community college and houses with only one bathroom which an entire family shares and is cleaned by the people who live there and dirty it. I introduced her to the idea of not feeling the need to make a lot of money. The idea that for some is contentment and for some complacency and for some fear.

She was honestly curious and bewildered. And she understood. Best conversation to date.

Max and I worked on a 3D puzzle of NYC. He has been there several times, so I asked him to tell me about it. He told me about it for an hour. I love talking with him. So far we've had conversations about NYC, mythical creatures, video games, and cooking.

the Mom and Kids presented me with a thank-you/Hannukah/Christmas card Friday evening before I left. She told me there was cash in it as a gift. I was expecting $50-$100 or so, you know, a semi-reasonable amount. 

No.

I'm so glad I chose to open it later in my car. I found $500 in that heavy card. 

All I could do was laugh.

Saturday morning I had my car re-repaired up to Maryland specs and had $30 left over of that money. Praise the Lord for the Family. Such a blessing.

This was a good weekend. Next weekend I travel home [again...woo (read: boo) driving!] for the annual big-extended-family-everybody Christmas party.

#11. Hours and Ours.

I cried for an hour today. Loudly. In my car and at work. 

Fortunately for me the Dad is in Israel and the Mom was working at her office and the Kids were at school.

My car failed Maryland's state inspection for the second time today, after repairs were supposed to have it meet specifications.

I was/am also grieving what might have been lost. 

Being in a new place is hard. 

I'm tired of cleaning other peoples' toilets. 

I burst out into a new phase of tears when I saw the disaster area that was the kitchen I had left clean not 18 hours ago.

I'm tired of following other peoples' instructions for child-rearing and child-developing.

I like my job, I do. I just wish the kids were taught personal responsibility for messes and the parents a bit more humble concerning their home.

I really shouldn't be complaining. But this is not what I was made for and I know that even more surely. 

I am built for decision-making, charge-taking, and growth-enabling. I was even told this weekend that should I choose to do so I'd make a great event director because I'm calm and collected but I take control when it's needed. 

I needed this weekend in the South more than I knew. I needed hannaH, Laura, Sydney, Erin, Lauren, Chris, Ben, Travis, Matt, Lindsey, and Andrew. I really needed them. Particularly hannaH and Laura. 

Tonight the Mom invited me to come to dinner at The Melting Pot with them. I did. It was a little awkward because I'm obviously not part of the family with my light-brown/blonde hair and non-Jewish features. It was good though. I had to try to explain to her what God telling me to do something meant. More difficult than I would have thought. We were talking about Liberty and how I didn't originally want to go there. 

More practical updates:

-Spending money on repairs means my chance at a new car in the spring is shot to Hades.

-I'm going to look for a morning-time job to supplement my current income to pay off my student loans ASAP.

-Tomorrow is the first round deadline for AU's MBA LKJSOIE. The last 7 letters aren't relevant to anything. There were so many other capital letters that I couldn't help it.

-Saturday I dump $500 more into my car.

-Sunday I'm going to a church whether I like it or not.

-I feel like I might cry some more in the coming days. Guess who loves that...

-I know this is a season called the worst season called winter and called transition.