#21. Saints and Cereal.

In the spring and summer I always try to eat cereal for breakfast and it's never a good idea. My stomach really hates milk first thing in the morning. It's not intolerable but it's an uncomfortable amount of tightness.

It's sad because I really like cereal, particularly in the morning.

I avoid this problem in the chilly and cold months by eating oatmeal, but eating something hot first thing on a hot day isn't comfortable. But neither is paying $5 for 6 bagels.

During the course of my Wednesday evening conversation with Jim (contra guy) he said that he was a Christian. Hooray and Hallelujah! He's Catholic, so we've still got to talk about the course of salvation, the idea of saints, and the existence of purgatory, along with the general practice of faith issues before I can whole-heartedly celebrate the potential longevity of this relationship.

If he's not by-the-Catholic-book Catholic, he still has to pass the meet-my-Look-Up-family test. That might could happen in late April. Maybe.

Oh, and happy St. Patrick's day! I'm Irish! Woo! I ate corned beef and cabbage. I also had my first alcoholic beverage of 2013 (since the time changed last weekend I'm allowed to.) It was Woodchuck Hard Cider. So good, and so not seasonally appropriate. Oh well. I'll get some Bailey's after Easter, when I can have sweets again.

The kids were better this week. Well, Ella was. I played games (mostly Connect 4) with her all week. Max tries, and succeeds, to manipulate her pretty often and I can't figure out how to have Ella stand up for herself without causing a tantrum on Max's part. It's nearly useless to try teaching Max why it's bad to manipulate people. He doesn't care. He never speaks to her on her level. She's quite intelligent for her age. His tone is so condescending that it enrages me, no matter how oblivious Ella is to it.

I'm looking for another job. I decided that this week after coming in day after day to a destroyed kitchen and being asked to put new soap in the master bathroom's shower. I hate cleaning up after grown people. I hate being thought of as insignificant and unintelligent. I hate knowing that I am highly skilled with their children, that the kids enjoy playing with me, and that I'm still being paid the lowest wage in the range of salaries they were offering.

I need a job that uses all of my mind. Every time I spend a few hours with Jim I realize just how much of my higher functioning has been in a coma for the past couple of years. On Saturday we spent about 3 hours browsing around a bookstore. 3 hours. Just looking at and talking about books.

I think he'd pass the Look Up test just fine. He's really strange.

#20. New Things, Good and Bad.

It's Monday, not Sunday, and almost not-Monday-anymore.

Yesterday the time changed. Hallelujah. And the weather this weekend left nothing to be desired. Absolutely lovely. 

I've been out with the contra dance guy twice since my last post, aside from seeing/dancing with/talking to him on Fridays at contra.

He's kind and considerate and respectful and cautious and interesting and gentle and decisive and assertive and strong and adventurous and smarter than me. He's great and good and I like him. And he likes me.

This is a new thing, the good side of newness in my life. I've never had a good and decent man actually be interested enough in me to take action concerning his interest. I don't exactly know what I'm doing because I've never been in this place before, but I'm trying to listen to the Spirit (although He's been kinda quiet about it...)

Yesterday we+Lily hiked the Billy Goat trail which is about 4.5 miles round-trip. Let me tell you, it is aptly named and so fun. Then we ate some delicious Chipotle and saw Oz: The Great and Powerful. It was beautifully done and clever. We ended up getting free passes to see another movie later because they accidentally began showing the wrong film, causing our start time to be delayed about 30 minutes. Totally worth it.

I think my favorite things about him are 1) he really is smarter than I am and 2) he takes initiative, gently. The second is hard to explain unless you already know what I mean. I hope you know what I mean. 

The bad side of newness in my life is having to decide what the next step will be. I was not offered admission to George Washington either. Stupid work history. So now I have to decide:
Should I look for full-time employment right now?
Should I stay with this job even though I'd only be staying in order to keep my non-binding word to them of "until next fall"?
Should I apply to the MSOD program at American and hope to edge my way into the MBA?
Should I wait until next season to apply again, this time for Spring admission?

I really don't want to stay with the family for a lot longer. I hate the cleaning. I can deal with everything else honestly, but not the cleaning up after grown people. I have time before I have to decide everything and I have a few issues that are more pressing to consider first (Vehicle Emissions Test, getting taxes done, paying a long-overdue medical bill...) so I'm trying not to worry about it.

Happy almost Spring! Sunshine and warm hooray!

#19. The Rundown.

I have been neglecting this for some time now. 


I'm sorry. My only excuse is that I didn't want to write.


Here goes:

I've cheated 3 times on my Lent fast of sweets.

I'm still contra dancing most Friday nights. I just keep finding the money for it, literally finding $10 in a drawer or something. I think that magic has run out though.

I have contra dance friends now.

I have contra dance friends now because of a guy I danced with a few Fridays in a row, who then asked me to join him and his friends afterward at a diner.

A few days later I went out with him. We made plans for a second date either tomorrow or Tuesday. 

I'm extremely excited about the time change later this week.
And the season change later this month.
And the temperature change that will hopefully accompany it.

I had an emotional breakdown caused by frustration with my job and the lack of effective discipline and personal responsibility I see everyday. Then I was reminded that it's not my job to fix everything, only to do what I can and do it the best I can. 

I was also reminded that this is not for forever. 
And that's great and wonderful.